Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go 

out. We have a few drinks, and a few laughs, and it's great. 

But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten 

seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to 

your door, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll 

knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye. No 

see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, 

but I know that.

- Chuckie, "Good Will Hunting"

I'm done. 

Okay, so I'm not totally done because if I only get a part time gig at Guitar Center I might still sub for a couple of days a week, but for the most part I'm done.

Done with the BS. The constantly piling on of more crap to do. I'm just like fuck it. You want to try and implement a program that may or may not work (and if it doesn't work someone could get hurt) and you're just going to stand back and watch while those of us in the "battlefield" go out and put ourselves on the line?

I'm not saying Guitar Center will be heaven. It's still retail, the pay will be a bit less and maybe management is a bunch of douchebags, but at least I'll be somewhere I actually give a crap. In my current job I'm either changing diapers, spoon feeding, trying to keep people from hurting/traumatizing others, etc. Just stupid crap. But at least at GC I'll get to learn more about guitars and gear and get paid for it.

Years ago I promised myself I'd follow my passion, regardless of the money. Not that I'd do it for free; my bills won't pay themselves. But even if I'm going to be making a few less bucks an hour, at least I won't be bored/stressed doing something I'd rather not. Even if I do get stressed selling stuff, it's still about music, damn it!

Got my interview tomorrow. I know I need to sleep, but I'm a bit amped. My last job interview, I was nervous, but in all honesty the whole time I was feeling like I shouldn't follow through, that I would regret it, and I did. If not for some good fortune, I would have been paying for a hospital bill I shouldn't have even gotten because some idiot misread my e-mail and didn't even bother to ask for an explanation.

Anyway, like I said before, it's time to start following my dream. Steven Pressfield's "The War of Art" talks about this lady who was diagnosed with terminal cancer and only had a few months to live, so she quit her job and focused on music. Even when the cancer went into remission she was still all about the music. 

I did one of those interests/career tests, and my results were overwhelmingly artistic. I was also interested in things that encouraged creatively within community. That's what I'm about, ultimately, a community where people are free to express themselves using their innate talents. BTW, I believe talent isn't something you're just born with, but has to be cultivated or even discovered. 

A decade ago I didn't think I could play any instrument, but after I took a piano class at junior college I became pretty decent at piano, and now I've been playing guitar for several years. I'm not great, but I feel like I am progressing, and I can at least play a bit of rhythm guitar and some solos. 

I've gotten into Ed Sheeran recently, and his story is inspiring. Nobody wanted to sign him at first because he was pudgy and had shocking red hair, but thanks to Taylor Swift (who ironically I can't stand) he got his break. Guys is so multifaceted; he can play incredibly touching tunes like "The A Team" or "Thinking Out Loud" while also kick ass lyrically with "You Need Me, I Don't Need You".

John Mayer, my hero, said he didn't expect to get big so soon. He thought he'd be more like Buddy Guy, who didn't get a ton of respect until he was older. Maybe I don't "blow up" right away, or maybe I don't even become a star, but I'm just going to keep plugging away because I love it. Few things excite me more than even laying down a simple melody or riff and then layering instruments over it. I can spend hours doing that.

So why the quote? Because I'm just leaving. Not entirely, but I'm transitioning out. I don't want a freaking farewell tour or anything, just to leave. People will be like,"What happened to that guy?" but I think they'll understand. 7 years grinding away with almost no respect and appreciation, and my dream wasting away, getting more bitter each year. 

I don't want to be the guy who's 63 and bitter as hell because he didn't have the balls to quit his job and do what he was passionate about. In other words, I don't want to be my dad.